Sunset Nobles 9, Mission Street Dealers 7: First James Gandolfini, Now This

RECAP: Undersized, windswept, pockmarked concrete field, sun in the batter's face, kickball idiots in right field, a wily and furry soft-tosser chewing gum like a laconic bastard and making us pop out about twenty times, and what the fuck is up with them being called the Sunset Nobles when I don't think any of them live in the Sunset and that little mustachioed Cincinnati Reds baseball head sleeve patch makes me think of them as entitled 19th-century racists for some reason and HOW THE FUCK DID WE LOSE THAT GAME

PLAYER OF THE GAME: David Gardner BARF 

David Gardner

JAMES DEAN DRIVE OF THE GAME: There were a few. Will Cornyn got us on the board in the first inning with a two-run rip. Andrew Gomez hit a goddamn moonshot to center that stunningly found its way into the glove of some serendipitously located Noble. In a crucial moment in the later innings, Julian "the Greyhound" Elorduy crushed a 200-mph RBI line drive through the left side. Sometimes I gaze at him when he's quietly sitting cross-legged on the ground. Julian would you like to go to Vermont with me? You know over there they'll let you marry whoever you want.

DEFENSIVE PLAYS OF THE GAME:  1. Crizzle in CF fielding a base hit and firing a SEED to home plate to nail Vince Petersen by such a wide margin that he did that defeated coasting-to-a-stop thing of baserunners who know they're doomed. 2. Flowers to Moss to Gomez for our first double play of the night. 3. Moss pulling off an unassisted double play (ED. NOTE Sam Bull doesn't know what "unassisted" means but he likes to use language incorrectly) which included a spectacular lunging grab+swipe tag at first by the Cuban Assasian, Andrew Gomez

Andrew Gomez

I'd also like to give a shoutout to Eric Rosen who played some electric infield D, bailing me out more than once.

LEAST VALUABLE PLAYER

Hey guys you should let me pitch I'm a good pitcher

1 2/3 innings of walk-laden 45 mph shit pitching to put us in an early hole, a muffed play at the plate, a terrible baserunning decision in the 9th that would have ended the game if the Nobles catcher hadn't been drunk, and the worst swinging strikeout in the history of pre- and post-Columbian America. I mentioned this last one to Ray and he looked at me with his face all scrunched up and said "I didn't even recognize you." Before our next game on Sunday I will be ceremonially drawn and quartered and fed to the needy children of Oakland

QUOTE OF THE GAME 1: "Sorry"-Pat Lennen, umpire

QUOTE OF THE GAME 2:: "GET THE FUCK BACK TO THE BAG VIRGIL"-everyone

QUOTE OF THE GAME 3: : "All your base are belong to us"-Dave Gardner

POSTGAME QUOTE 1: "The base is not a sanctuary"-Andrew Gomez

POSTGAME QUOTE 2: "I love me some Andrew Lloyd Webber"-line umpire Ray Mason

MARK MOSS OF THE GAME: M. Moss

BEERS ON SUNDAY LET'S THINK ABOUT

NOT FUCKING THIS UP